From In The Bubble

This isn’t my first blog on today.com. Last September I first learned about the site, and as an aspiring writer looking for any entrance into the world of writing, I was all over it. After I was accepted, I posted the link on Facebook, both on my info page and as my status. Within a couple of days I had comments, albeit only from my sister, my mom, and a friend of mine. I was beyond excited to be able to share my writing with my friends, my family, and whoever else might have happened upon the blog. However, I began to worry about the topics I chose. Normally I am completely unconcerned with who I offend, but knowing that my sweeter than sugar aunt might read something not so nice, I got the worst case of writers block. Shortly before Canadian thanksgiving, in a desperate attempt to write something, anything, I wrote a post about my mild dislike of the holiday, why I wasn’t looking forward to it, and what could be done to improve it. After I got home from visiting family I had a comment on the post from someone who clearly didn’t enjoy reading it. They ripped apart my writing, my personality, and my appearance. And upon seeing that their comment hadn’t immediately appeared under the post (obviously it was still in moderation), they proceeded to post the exact same thing again. All with a fake name and email address.

My attitude about writing is that I can’t please everyone, and I really don’t care to. One of my favorite quotes is “If you can’t annoy somebody, there is little point in writing” - Kingsley Amis. I welcome comments that oppose my views, and I love a good debate, but this was different. This person has continued to comment on the blog, long after the account has been shut down. There have been at least five separate occasions, and each time, the comment is basically the same thing. They call me ugly, a loser, say I have no friends, and I can’t write worth a damn. I am unable to let this slide off my back for one simple reason. I know this person. They know details about my life that I thought were limited to my close circle of friends, but, clearly someone has been talking, and the information is in the worst hands. In the grand scheme of things, someone commenting on an old blog every few weeks is a really minor upset, but it’s starting to escalate. This morning I checked my email to find that this person (I’m assuming it’s them) has set up an account under my email address on a website and posted information about how ugly and fat I am, and how much I hate myself. I can handle stupid things like this, but it’s really bugging me that someone I know hates me enough to spend time trying to hurt me. I have theories about who it could be, but no proof. The comments have all come from different IP addresses, and none of the email addresses are real. After way too much time and thought spent on this person, I am giving up. This post will mark the last time I talk about it. The last time I feel that familiar welling of tears in the corners of my eyes. The last time I spend more than a second caring about what some coward thinks about me. It’s all so ridiculous, and not worth even a second of my time. I’m done.