From In The Bubble

Not all that long ago I wrote a post about the end of a friendship. She had been my best friend since 8th grade creative writing class and I missed her a lot. I suspected, without proof, that the demise of our friendship had something to do with her new boyfriend. We were all in the same circle of friends in high school but I never really spent any time with him, so it’s no wonder I didn’t realize that he is less than fond of me. I can’t say that for sure, but I was told by someone who used to be really good friends with him and I trust this person. So I feel that it is no coincidence that our friendship ended only weeks after she started dating him. I thought about deleting her on facebook but I am a big believer in the whole “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” thing, so I refrained. Anyways….onto the real reason for this post. My dilemma.

Two days ago my former bf’s status changed from ‘in a relationship’ to ’single’ and then her wall was flooded with posts from other people asking what happened and if she’s okay, so I figured the breakup was legit. I also wondered, if my hypothesis about the guy was true, would I be hearing from her soon. Last night I came home to a message from her. Not an apology or expression of any sort of regret. Nope. Just a two sentence message about CD’s I made for her months ago. I know her well enough to understand that she’s trying to test the water, and my response will determine whether or not she tries to reconcile. My problem is that I don’t know what to do. I keep thinking about it in terms of breakups I’ve had with boyfriends. When someone hurts you like that, discards your relationship like yesterdays trash, it’s hard, if not impossible to continue on like nothing happened. Part of me, the part that remembers my ‘old’ friend, really wants the friendship back. But then there’s the hugely apprehensive part of me that keeps waving red flags yelling “hold on a minute!!” There is no guarantee that something like this won’t happen again. And I really can’t blame the entire thing on her boyfriend. We fought more in the latter part of last year than we have in the rest of our years as friends combined.

I’m stuck. I sent her a message back on facebook, so we’ll see what happens next. All I know is, if I decide to try to be friends with her again, we have a lot to discuss. And she really needs to learn how to apologize, sincerely and without being asked. If anyone reading this has any insight or advice please, please, please share it.