Comments on: My Dilemma http://frominthebubble.today.com/2009/02/04/my-dilemma/ Musings From A Small Town Girl Fri, 25 Dec 2009 22:25:16 +0000 http://www.today.com/version-2.3.1 By: jennij http://frominthebubble.today.com/2009/02/04/my-dilemma/#comment-27 jennij Sat, 07 Feb 2009 20:33:37 +0000 http://frominthebubble.today.com/2009/02/04/my-dilemma/#comment-27 Hi Sarah - I definitely agree with you (and Lin). I know that if I put my trust in her like I did before I will most likely be disappointed. I think we can be friends again as long as I can be dettached enough to not let her decisions - good or bad - effect me in any way. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment....really great advice! Hi Sarah - I definitely agree with you (and Lin). I know that if I put my trust in her like I did before I will most likely be disappointed. I think we can be friends again as long as I can be dettached enough to not let her decisions - good or bad - effect me in any way.

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment….really great advice!

]]> By: Sarah http://frominthebubble.today.com/2009/02/04/my-dilemma/#comment-26 Sarah Sat, 07 Feb 2009 20:18:44 +0000 http://frominthebubble.today.com/2009/02/04/my-dilemma/#comment-26 Hi Jenni I think Lin really has the right idea with this. Rekindle the friendship - she obviously meant a lot to you - but don't put your all into it. As we grow, we tend to form different friendships to fulfil different needs. This friendship can fulfil some needs, she sounds like someone you can have fun with, but you have to realise that you may not be able to rely on her when you really need someone to turn to. Take things slowly. A friendship, like any relationship, needs to be built on trust and mutual respect. Don't be the one to put everything into this and get nothing back in return. I hope it all turns out well for you. Best wishes Sarah Hi Jenni

I think Lin really has the right idea with this. Rekindle the friendship - she obviously meant a lot to you - but don’t put your all into it.

As we grow, we tend to form different friendships to fulfil different needs. This friendship can fulfil some needs, she sounds like someone you can have fun with, but you have to realise that you may not be able to rely on her when you really need someone to turn to.

Take things slowly. A friendship, like any relationship, needs to be built on trust and mutual respect. Don’t be the one to put everything into this and get nothing back in return.

I hope it all turns out well for you.

Best wishes

Sarah

]]> By: jennij http://frominthebubble.today.com/2009/02/04/my-dilemma/#comment-19 jennij Thu, 05 Feb 2009 10:16:32 +0000 http://frominthebubble.today.com/2009/02/04/my-dilemma/#comment-19 cmaher - I definitely agree with you about telling her how I feel. I've tried to do that in the past and she barely acknowledged my concerns and then we had the same problems all over again. And then there's the fact that I hate confrontation. Often I worry that discussions will turn into arguements, so I just don't bring it up at all. I know that I definitely need to set some boundaries, as hard as it may be. It's really nice to hear someone elses point of view because obviously I'm biased. lol :) Thank you for your advice! cmaher - I definitely agree with you about telling her how I feel. I’ve tried to do that in the past and she barely acknowledged my concerns and then we had the same problems all over again. And then there’s the fact that I hate confrontation. Often I worry that discussions will turn into arguements, so I just don’t bring it up at all. I know that I definitely need to set some boundaries, as hard as it may be. It’s really nice to hear someone elses point of view because obviously I’m biased. lol :) Thank you for your advice!

]]> By: cmaher http://frominthebubble.today.com/2009/02/04/my-dilemma/#comment-18 cmaher Thu, 05 Feb 2009 09:05:08 +0000 http://frominthebubble.today.com/2009/02/04/my-dilemma/#comment-18 I honestly think that you should tell her exactly how you felt. Sometimes people are so wrapped up in their own world that they don't even realize what they are doing to people that care about them. If she's flippent on your remark then she's just a friend in good times and set your boundries before you rebuild your friendship with her. I had a friend like this. No emotional support at all and would drop me like a hat to hang out with a guy. I just realized that when I wanted someone to go out with she was the one to call but she was going to be nothing more than that. I honestly think that you should tell her exactly how you felt. Sometimes people are so wrapped up in their own world that they don’t even realize what they are doing to people that care about them.

If she’s flippent on your remark then she’s just a friend in good times and set your boundries before you rebuild your friendship with her.

I had a friend like this. No emotional support at all and would drop me like a hat to hang out with a guy. I just realized that when I wanted someone to go out with she was the one to call but she was going to be nothing more than that.

]]> By: jennij http://frominthebubble.today.com/2009/02/04/my-dilemma/#comment-17 jennij Thu, 05 Feb 2009 06:32:33 +0000 http://frominthebubble.today.com/2009/02/04/my-dilemma/#comment-17 lunaticg - I guess it's good to know that I'm not alone in my friendship struggles. :) Thanks for the comment and I hope everything turned out well for you in that situation! lunaticg - I guess it’s good to know that I’m not alone in my friendship struggles. :) Thanks for the comment and I hope everything turned out well for you in that situation!

]]> By: jennij http://frominthebubble.today.com/2009/02/04/my-dilemma/#comment-14 jennij Thu, 05 Feb 2009 01:46:38 +0000 http://frominthebubble.today.com/2009/02/04/my-dilemma/#comment-14 Lin - Thank you, that's really great advice. I hadn't thought of it that way. I've been able to do that with other friends, I hang out, have fun, but I don't tell them personal things or put my trust in them. I guess I never thought of her in those terms because in the past we were so close. What you said makes a lot of sense, and it really cleared up a lot of the back and forth going on in my head. Thank you again. :) Lin - Thank you, that’s really great advice. I hadn’t thought of it that way. I’ve been able to do that with other friends, I hang out, have fun, but I don’t tell them personal things or put my trust in them. I guess I never thought of her in those terms because in the past we were so close. What you said makes a lot of sense, and it really cleared up a lot of the back and forth going on in my head. Thank you again. :)

]]>